Speed Racer Tanks

Because I admire the Wachowski Brothers (The Matrix, V For Vendetta) I went to see Speed Racer. In case you are curious, let me save you $10. It is one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t even get points for its video game, comic book style. Its just toweringly dumb.

Perhaps this is proof that the audience isn’t as childish as the Warner Bros. executives who greenlighted this turkey. It did only $20 million for the weekend and cost $130 million.

Update: Turns out Warners original estimates for the weekend were way high. From Variety.

On Sunday, Warners estimated a weekend take of $20.2 million, while Fox estimated an opening haul of $20 million. Fox, as well as other studios, said Warners was being too aggressive in its estimate.

Actual numbers released on Monday showed a gross of $18.6 for “Speed Racer,” while “Vegas” grossed $20.2 million, according to Rentrak.

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0 Responses to Speed Racer Tanks

  1. rhb says:

    No surprise. Well, except that you believe that it really cost $130 million to generate this cartoon. That’s got to be the biggest and saddest rip-off of all.

  2. TNM says:

    I had an entirely different experience when I saw Speed Racer. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course I went in knowing that this was going to be a live-action anime aimed at families with kids. The plot and acting was old school Good Guys versus Bad Guys, with Our Hero saving the day by overcoming all the obstacles by being true to himself and his family.

    I have a theory about why many reviewers and many others like yourself hated this movie. I think it is because they expected something different than what the Wachowski’s intended. What was expected was a typical summer action-adventure movie. What was given was a tricked out SFX homage to a beloved (and fairly terrible) 60s TV show. This was the movie you would have made if you were 9 years old and spent the morning watching Johnny Quest and Speed Racer while munching bowl after bowl of Sugar Pops.

    To enjoy Speed Racer you first had to go in expecting to re-experience a sense of childlike wonder and innocence. I did and enjoyed the movie immensely. Apparently you went is as an adult expecting adult level acting and story and were disappointed.

    I bet every boy under 13 that sees this movie will love it. You know, the ones that sketch out race cars in the margins of their school books during class.

    Too bad you didn’t get it. You missed a great opportunity to touch a bit of childhood wonder again.

  3. Morgan Warstler says:

    Meanwhile, Iron Man blends a nice pro-military, pro-America, libertarian vibe… and does well at the box office. Imagine that.

  4. Aril Lou says:

    I posted that pro-military industrial complex about
    iron man on other review sites. No wonder the organized media hates the Wachowski Brothers. They got everyone to take the red pill and got people to view their government differently in V.

    That said Speed Racer is unlike anything ever seen before visually. It’s true to the surreality of the cartoon. Hate it now you can. But when people are watching this movie 10 years from now like a cult classic like Clock Work Orange you’ll be in a pickle.

    The media may have prevented a sequel but perhaps thats a good thing cause we all know Iron Man 2 is gonna suuuuuuck.

  5. I kinda figured this movie would tank. Not really sure why, it just seemed… I dunno. Hokey or something. Not sure if that’s the right word. I think it would’ve done better if it had been animated.

  6. TF says:

    A Clock Work Orange isn’t considered a classic solely because of it’s production design.

    Unfortunately there’s no fiber with Speedracer’s sugar and an awful lot of competition in the animation stakes.

    The argument that this movie works because it successfully translated a ridiculous cartoon into a ridiculous movie doesn’t carry any weight with me because its in direct competition (both artistically and commercially) with films that could have been rediculous but instead became something more (think about it – Toy Story handled differently could have been a bloody mess but Pixar make a point of the fact that just because they can do anything doesn’t mean they should.)

  7. Dan says:

    The brief commercials were more than sufficient to convince me that I wouldn’t watch this movie even when it’s on HBO.

  8. The Scanner says:

    Jon Listen to me. Read what I write. If Speed Racer had been more pro-war, it would have made 100 million dollars, American. All of us Americans love war, as opposed to the hippies who are anti-American. When sex fails, we resort to violence. Don’t you get it?

    And America is really great. I wish you could understand that.

  9. Morgan Warstler says:

    Better than great! Superb.

  10. Jon Taplin says:

    The Scanner-Where do I sign up to get my uniform?

  11. John Hurt says:

    Better than superb! Glamorous.

  12. The Scanner says:

    Better than glamorous! Voluptuous.

    Jon. You should speak directly to George Bush. If you have trouble reaching him, try maybe Sean Hannity, or one of those guys. Ask them. There must be a shop in Washington, DC. Ask them where they get their haircuts while you’re at it. Those guys look really crisp.

  13. Ken Ballweg says:

    Damn it Scanner, let Hugo come out from behind that nom de plume. We see him hiding back there.

  14. Morgan Warstler says:

    I always think those guys look miserable in those haircuts. But then, I liked Perot, and he got his hair cut weekly.

    BTW, there is nothing better than voluptous. God, I love America. I’m so very glad we aren’t French. Eww. Ugh. Ralf.

    BTW2, Jon isn’t allowed to talk directly to GWB until he admits Basra = big lumbering step forward.

  15. The Scanner says:

    They do look miserable. That is how we know they are not TRUE Religious Right people of happiness, but rather shrewd and ruthless manipulators of the masses. God’s men, in other words. Just who we need to lead us into our complete bondage and domination of the world.

    Jon. Do as I say. Admit Basra, whatever that is. All will become clear and it sounds as if you will get in the lumbering business as well. Do this now.

    There is something better than voluptuous. Helpless.

    The French are pathetic. I have no idea why people think of it as a city of light, a city of magic. It is a city full of poisonous food.

  16. patrick says:

    The Wachowski bros certainly put a lot of effort into making Speed Racer… but the movie overall looked and felt like a cross between anime, a kaleidoscope, that Flintstones movie, a video game and the Dukes of Hazard

  17. Ken Ballweg says:

    Morgan, badgering Jon or anyone to see what you insist is the truth is clear proof that you have the credibility of Darth Chaney. Why don’t you admit that basra is just an indication of where we are currently throwing massive resources in the whack a mole game of Iraq. It’s lose-lose, and the supposed victory you are touting will go away as soon as the last US division breaks all its equipment, or the mercs can’t be paid. Iraq is to the US what Afganisthan was the Soviets: it’s a country breaker, and we are the ones being squeezed to death. It’s not about some frakin’ victory for the gipper crap, we’ve already lost. We can stay forever, and they will still hate us and fight us, and bleed our resources. You super patriots have literally sold the country out with your insistence on believing that America is the only country that would fight an invasion until the invader’s supply line breaks and they go home. It’s not Vietnam, it’s our version of the USSR”S FRAKIN’ AFGANISTHAN. It’s a major way to drain a dominant nation of power, and move it out of the way so the next superpower can emerge. Your “I’m rubber you”re glue…” arguments are facile and much less informed or insightful than your personal level of narcissism leads you to believe.

    Dick Chaney (and all his sycophants like you) = mole like Rick Ames; no lumbering, just infrastructure rot.

  18. Morgan Warstler says:

    Ah Ken, don’t be silly. First, Basra was’t us. It was Maliki. You know it. “We” aren’t playing whack-a-mole any longer, saying it doesn’t make it true. The surge did its job, huh? Why are you screaming it isn’t getting better?

    We are down to Mosul. And looky here, new news:

    “MOSUL, Iraq (AFP) — Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki ordered a new assault on Al-Qaeda in the main northern city of Mosul on Wednesday, the jihadists’ last urban bastion in Iraq according to US commanders.

    Maliki travelled to Mosul with top aides to take command of the US-backed drive against Al-Qaeda in the province, defence ministry spokesman Major General Abdul Kareem Khalaf said.

    The prime minister, who ordered a similar offensive against Shiite militias in the main southern city of Basra two months ago, was accompanied by Interior Minister Jawad Bolani and Defence Minister Abdel Qader Jassim Mohammed.

    “Operation Umm al-Rabiain (Mother of Two Springs) has just started against those threatening the civilian population and attacking Iraqi forces in Mosul,” defence ministry spokesman Khalaf told AFP.

    “This operation is targeting terrorists and criminals,” he said, alluding to Al-Qaeda, which has been accused of a string of major attacks across Nineveh province of which Mosul is the capital.”


    If Mosul goes as well as Basra, I think we’ll see more draw down.

    You don’t think it is likely? Wouldn’t it be great if in another 7 weeks, it is time to start bringing some more troops home? I think we can agree that’d be a good thing.

  19. Jon Taplin says:

    Morgan-You are like the last guy standing in Reservoir Dogs.

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